Lavender Took (lavendertook) wrote,
Lavender Took
lavendertook

Owning Your Mouse

Today is 2 months since I lost Saki. I'm doing a much better job this month of focusing on being grateful for the 16 years I had in the company of that magnificent cat-being than on the sadness of her ending. There are days, and times, but it's not as raw as last month. I am so grateful for the support from my flist friends who held me up during the worst of it. I couldn't get through without you. Thank you. (((((((FLIST)))))

Below is another favorite pic, this of Herself with a wool catnip-filled mouse an old friend made and sent for her. She tended to love her newest toy and her newest bed most, but her fondness for this mouse lasted many years and it stayed in her latest beds.

It's also 9 years today since my dad died--tomorrow would have been his 88th birthday. The 15th will be 5 months since Mom died. He and Mom have 4 siameses tucked around them, but maybe Saki is visiting with them tonight, too.

DSCN0857
Is that a smiling kitten cat, or is that a smiling kitten cat? So fluffy sweet and soft, but look at the strength in that possessive paw. THIS MOUSE. IS MINE. GO ME! LOVE U.



Last Saturday, on [personal profile] zlabya's suggestion, I went to Chessicon in north Baltimore. I was most interested in a session I saw they were having for pet bereavement/loss of a familiar. We were supposed to bring a favorite item of our friend, so I brought the above mouse, and also her collar. I microchipped her about 4 years ago and stopped putting on her rainbow collar, and forgot how much she loved having her collar put on in the bustle of all the meds and special foods I was giving her. I'm sorry I forgot it and I didn't put it on more, just for a little while and then take it off, just for the putting on ceremony that she delighted in. I would whisper to her how beautiful she looked in it as I put it on and she would purr and scrunch up her eyes. So cute. Kind of like she's scrunching her eyes in the below pic.

DSCN1918.JPG

Anyway, there were just a few of us, and we lit candles for our lost ones, told stories about them and cried together. It was a good ceremony.

And I got to see [personal profile] zlabya and taknukesoul at the con and went to a couple of panels and a reading.

Thanksgiving was really nice. I drove up to [profile] synechdochic and [personal profile] sarah's gathering, for delightful company, human, feline, and canine, and a delicious meal. If I ever cook a whole turkey, I am going to use [profile] synechdochic's method of cutting out the breastbone and spreading the turkey out over the pan, so you can bake it in 1 1/2 hours. It was very delish.

I am being social on weekends, getting to various sf/f or LGBT social events, meals with friends, and taking walks around the lake, so I'm taking good care of myself, and cooler drier weather really helps lessen my hot flash/shortness of breath/anxious spells. 3 more years of the exemestane, then I'm free, hopefully.

N. Novik's Temeraire series got me though the worst of this autumn grieving--what a fun premise--a world where people have adapted to living with dragons in ways that befit their cultures is a world where Western colonialism does not take in quite the same way--and such feel good relationships, even if it doesn't do as good a job of passing the Bechdel test as I would like. Her Uprooted did pass the Bechdel test and I enjoyed, though it was not as engaging a world as that of the series. I am now reading N. Griffith's Ammonite.

Mooshka is next to me snoring away. Both she and Tuxie are getting more cuddly and I am appreciating their sweet company. They are slowly getting used to having more access to me, now that Saki isn't around rightfully hogging my attention through her attentiveness. They are sweet, sleepy, standard-issue cats, but MY sweet, sleepy, standard-issue cats, and we're working on being a family complete in itself again, while remembering and cherishing our lost ones. I am blessed when I get to spend the day, like today, teleworking with them tucked on either side of me. They make things better. Much needed in our anxious world.


Also posted at http://lavendertook.dreamwidth.org/188651.html with comment count unavailablecomments
Tags: books, cats, dad, friends, gratitude, grief, memorial, mom, moo, saki, sf/f, tuxie
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